I have wanted to write this blog for so long, I really have. And I know that each of you is going to either completely agree with me on this or totally disagree. And those of you that disagree with me are going to be so pissed – I can feel it already! As you’re reading this you’re wondering why you are going to be pissed at me, and I’ll tell you why in a second.
I’m about to tell you something that is just going to blow you away:
Soulmates are bullshit.
Here’s the thing – before you get your panties in a knot – let’s say you live in Seattle, and your soulmate lives in Rome. And you have a fear of flying. You’ll spend the rest of your life never finding your soulmate.
Let’s say you live in New York, and your “soulmate” lives in Florida. The problem is that your Jewish grandparents tortured you as a child by taking you to Florida way too many times and you never want to set foot in that state again. So you only vacation now in the Caribbean.
If you believe that there is one soulmate for you out there in the world, then you’d better start traveling to find that person!
But if you’re like me – and you believe that you can have soul connections with people, then you are far more evolved than the person who believes there is one perfect partner for everyone.
I don’t believe that there is one person for everybody, and I never have. (That’s not entirely true, I’ll take that back – my mother tortured me with the whole soulmate idea for a long time and throughout my life I thought I had found mine – I thought Ellen was my soulmate, I thought Karen was my soulmate, then Jessica, then Sonya…)
I never thought of Alison (my recent girlfriend) as my soulmate, I thought of her as an equal. That is probably the reason why that relationship was the best I’ve ever had.
I’ve had women tell me – some even recently – that they thought we were soulmates. I looked at them and said, “we might have a soul connection, but we’re not soulmates.”
I believe that your soul is meant to mate with many different people. You can have soul connections – I think Daphne and I have a soul connection. Wherever I go, that dog follows. The minute I met Daphne – she looked at me and she stuck by my side like glue. That’s a soul connection.
If you want to go even deeper into lala-ville (because I do live in Los Angeles) I do believe in past lives and everything else, and I do believe that souls can come back and find each other. I believe that friends will come back and find each other as different things. I could have been a little girl in another life.
If you’ve ever seen the movie Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks – which is one of the funniest movies ever – there is this scene where this big chunky guy is doing past life regression and sees himself licking a lollipop and jumping around like a little girl. It was the funniest scene in the entire world – he absolutely freaked out.
But I do believe that souls come back. There are certain people that you meet – male or female – that you know you are going to be friends with them instantly. It’s your souls connecting with each other.
There are women that I’ve dated that I’ve had instant soul connections with. Some of those connections were more lustful than others, and some were just on a friendship level.
So I do believe that you can have soul connections. If there was one person in the world for you, and you screw up that relationship by the time you are 30, does that mean you have to spend the rest of your life alone? Absolutely not.
I could move to Russia tomorrow – not speaking any of the language – and find soul connections with some of the most amazing women. I bet I could make some great friends. But I’ll never drink the vodka because I’m just not a drinker!
But your soulmate is a farce. It’s bullshit. You can have lots of soulmates and many soul connections, but there is not just one person for you. If there were, there would be a ton of people running around the world accumulating many more frequent flier miles trying to find their soulmate.
Here’s another interesting tidbit for all of you: in different parts of your life, you’ll have different soul connections. You are ready for different types of relationships at different periods of your life.
So you might have had an intense soul connection – or you might have thought someone was your soulmate – but maybe you weren’t ready for that relationship.
Right now, I’m ready to meet my bootymates!
That’s a new term that nobody uses – do you know what a bootymate is? It’s an incredible sexual connection with somebody who doesn’t aggravate you at all. All you do is have amazing sex and you feel like your bodies were made for each other. You feel like your bodies know each other. But you don’t have the aggravation of maintaining a relationship.
You don’t have to say “I love you” – hell, you don’t even have to say, “I like you!” All you have to do is respect each other’s bodies and respect each other’s space. Respect everything. And know that when you get together, your souls are going to connect because you and she are bootymates!
Craig: The concept of soulmate came from Greek mythology. Back then, people believed that once upon a time everyone had two heads, four arms, and four legs – but just one soul.
Then the gods threw down lightning bolts and split everybody in half, so now each person had one head, two arms, and two legs – but only half of a soul. You were supposed to spend the rest of your life looking for the other half of your soul.
The problem with this is, just as David said, what if in this huge world, your soulmate lives far away? You might never find them. Or worse yet, what if your soulmate lives in your city and you were having a really shitty day on the day that you first met them? Now you’re still doomed to live the rest of your life alone.
I’m convinced that we meet a potential “soulmate” once or twice a month, but we’re not ready to meet them yet and they just pass us by. I’m convinced that serendipity plays a much bigger role in us finding somebody that is right for us. There are just groups of people out there that are right for each of us, and we end up finding one of those people only when we are ready for it.
David: That’s really interesting, I agree with you. It’s so true it’s unbelievable. I’m going to requote you on that: we probably do run into our soulmate at so many different times over the course of a month – except we’re not aware of it, or we’re not ready, or we’re not open for it.
They make a left, you make a right, but you were supposed to meet in the middle. Or you’re in the market and you get a Blackberry text message. As you look down, your soulmate walks right by you. It’s very interesting. I don’t think we spend enough time out there engaging everybody.
I think that if you really follow the stuff that I talk about in the Mastery Series, in the bootcamps, and everything else – you could probably find a soulmate once a week. You would be so much more in tune with your environment and with who you are as a person – you would know yourself inside and out. You’d be so open to things that you would connect with people just like yourself.
This weekend was really interesting. I was telling one of the guys (Allan actually) that he’s going to date exactly who he is right now – shy, quiet, very sweet, very nice, great personality. He’s going to meet a woman who has the same type of qualities yet wants to become a little bit more outgoing. Together they are going to really connect. He’ll make a great husband.
But he has to find enough courage to go out there, open his eyes, and start talking to them. That’s what it takes: courage. People don’t have the courage to talk to each other.
Do you realize that is the biggest fear that most people have: that they don’t have enough courage to go up and talk to people? Yet if they could just walk up to someone and say, “man, I really wanted to come over and talk to you, what’s your name?” the other person would be so receptive, because they feel the same exact way!
Usually people are attracted to people who share the same characteristics that they have. Guys will wish that they could date certain women – every guy wants to date the Maxim magazine model – but they won’t. And they know that.
So that’s an interesting topic, and an interesting thought – and it’s 100% true.
David Wygant
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/do-you-desire-a-soulmate-529486.html
February 16th, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Is getting a soulmate a girls greatest desire?
Well, I myself sometimes wish I had someone that I can say she is mine and nothing can change that, although its just insecurity in truth, but I want to know a girls opinion on this desire of theirs
February 16th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
not mine
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February 16th, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Not necessarily. It is mine, now though, and I’m realistic enough to think there is little chance in a person finding a soulmate, at the right time or place, we mostly "settle".
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February 16th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
Well it is ONE of mines
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February 16th, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Most women I know want this more than anything. We want emotianal connection and physical attracton. Some one to talk to on a deep level and then someone to kiss passionately. .
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February 16th, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Hahahahaha! Please, no. I think anyone who actually believes they have a soulmate is seriously deluded.
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February 16th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Just being happy is my greatest desire, which can come from anything.
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February 16th, 2010 at 7:57 pm
not especially.. we want someone we can trust and someone who is kind, considerate and respectful. Soulmate is just a campy cheesy phrase… if a guy states he is your soulmate… run far far away
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February 16th, 2010 at 7:59 pm
As a guy, this question isn’t really directed at me. However, I’m quite feminine (>.> don’t look at me like that!) so I feel like I can answer it well.
While how significant this desire is depends on the person, I think I can safely say that MOST girls do dream of finding a true love, getting married, and staying with that person for the rest of their lives. However, it definitely wouldn’t be the greatest desire for everyone. A lot of people are very passionate about their careers, and would care a lot more about being incredibly successful than finding their love. Others might not understand their motivation, but that doesn’t make it wrong.
In short, it’s pretty important to most people, but just how important varies on a person to person basis.
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February 16th, 2010 at 8:01 pm
not getting, finding
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February 16th, 2010 at 8:03 pm
I have a few soulmates in my life. No, not one of them is a romantic love interest. That’s not necessarily what a soulmate is. My greatest desire is to be happy, whether I have romantic love in my life or not.
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February 16th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
i think so its def mine.. to have someone thats urs and u knws not going to leave u and who always will love u no matter wat. thats the best thing ever.♥♥
will u answer my 2nd ques on my profile plz? thanks ☺♥♥
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February 16th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
depends on the girl mate, i know a lot of my cousins friends and a lot of discussions in college and thats all they want a guy that can love for eternity or some bs like that. A slut would say something else.
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February 16th, 2010 at 8:09 pm
Been there done that …
it is so completly overrated
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Life …
February 16th, 2010 at 8:11 pm
While we say things like "all girls are the same" or "typical girl", girls are actually so different. I know people that would give anything to find their true love, and have all the faith in the world that there is a soulmate out there.
Personally, I’m more of a business-type oriented person… so if I had to choose between a highly successful business and a perfect relationship, I’m definitely going for the business. Many would call that super shallow, but it’s just a different view on success. You seem like a really genuine and sweet guy though, many girls would love that =)
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February 16th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
Um, my greatest desire is to finish grad school. I could care less if I find someone to call ‘mine’.
I think that many people are obsessed by the romantic notion that there is a perfect love that exists out there for them, but some people don’t want it to control their lives. I personally don’t believe in soulmates, or ‘The One’, because one small decision, and all of that could change. It suggests a pre-determined path, and I can’t believe in that.
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February 16th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
I don’t know about a "soulmate," I just want to find a guy that makes me laugh, makes me happy, and loves me for me. Someone honest and trustworthy, someone I can be myself around and share things with.
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